Sex after pregnancy
For some couples sex is better than ever after the birth of the first child, but often a period of adjustment is necessary. If you both know that things may be a bit different to start with, neither of you is likely to feel rejected by any changes in sexual feelings and behaviour.
Some women lose their libido for a few months after childbirth: sometimes for longer. Many things can put new mothers off sex.
• There may be tender spots around the entrance to the vagina after delivery, especially if a perineal tear or episiotomy has been sutured. It can take a month or more for the genitals to feel comfortable again.
• Hormonal changes after delivery and during breast-feeding make some women slower to become sexually aroused.
• Some women feel that changes in their bodies after pregnancy and childbirth have made them less desirable or have changed their ability to enjoy sex.
• Breasts may be tender and may leak milk during sexual arousal, especially during the early weeks after delivery.
• Adjusting to parenthood can be difficult. Feelings of love and responsibility for the new baby can be so overwhelming that there isn’t much emotional room left for your partner.
• The presence of the baby, especially the same room, may be a block to expressing love and to sexual activity. A father’s libido can also be affected by becoming a parent, or he may be reluctant to initiate sexual activity for fear that his partner isn’t ready for it or that it may hurt her.
When to resume sex
There’s no hard and fast rule. The best time is when you and your partner feel like it, and it’s comfortable and enjoyble for you both. This may be quite soon; birth and will do no harm as long there’s been no problem with delivery that would make it wiser to wait a while (if so, your doctor will have told you). Take it slowly at first, allowing plenty of time become fully aroused.
If any sexual activity hurts, tell partner and suggest how he might stimulate you in more enjoyable ways. Remember that there are many ways (other penis-in-vagina intercourse) that you can both express love and derive sexual faction. If you have any problems at all, tell your partner about them. If you can be open with each other you’ll probably be able to sort things out.
If sex continues to be uncomfortable or painful beyond six weeks after delivery, see your doctor. If lack of libido persists and is causing tension between you and your partner, it often helps if you both talk the problem over with a third person. Yоur doctor, baby health nurse or the Family Planning Association can refer you to a trained counsellor.
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