Arthritis becomes much more common as we get older. Because of pain and stiffness in your joints, any movement can be a problem. Depending on which joints are involved, you might need to adjust your technique to make it more comfortable. For example, if a man has arthritis in his lower back or hips, the ‘missionary’ position can be painful. Lying side by side might work better. Arthritis in your neck can make giving oral sex uncomfortable. Women with arthritis in the hips can find it very difficult to open their legs, so the side by side ‘rear entry’ position for vaginal intercourse could be one solution. Strategic positioning of pillows can take the pressure off certain painful parts. The other thing you can do is to plan your painkillers so that they are most potent around the time you are likely to be making love. Whatever the medical problem that is making sex more difficult for you, there is usually something that can be done to help.

As we go through life there are many events that force us to rethink our attitudes to sexuality. The aging process brings all sorts of changes, but sex can continue to be an important element in our quality of life… lifelong.

Many older people of today grew up in the era of Victorian ideals and limited information. Attitudes to sex and aging are evolving all the time. The new sexual freedoms of the seventies, the openness and awareness of the eighties and the emerging theme of ‘responsibility in sexuality’ in the nineties mean that the generations growing up now will be more enlightened and better informed than any before. It will be fascinating to see the attitudes to sex of these generations of young people today when they themselves grow old.

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